Living for the Weekend…

After working full time at a dental office throughout the week and talking to people about how much they owe us for dental work and the fact that their insurance company hardly covers anything…

the weekend becomes a much needed thing.

I love the weekend.

The past few weekends have been filled with some much needed, very fun things.

First off….

Rainy nights, wine, and being surrounded by keyboards.

Priceless.

Last weekend the FOCOMA (Ft Collins Music Association) had their 2nd annual Peer Awards Night. Musicians vote on musicians and get together for a party and awards night. We found out that we were on the ballot about a week ahead of time. I was up for Female Singer/Songwriter. Ryan was in the Indie category. Matt and the Nurses were also in two categories. It was a blast. It’s great to feel community within this ever growing music scene in Ft. Collins.

And to top it all off, the same night, the great David Bazan played a show at Everday Joe’s.

Have I mentioned that I love the weekends?

Here’s to Monday tomorrow.

The Nurses

This is one of the bands that I have the awesome opportunity to be a part of. Good guys, good music.

Please check us out!

The Nurses

Discouragement

I feel a tinge of discouragement running through my veins. A torture-filled symphony filling the caverns of my soul that were once overflowing, yet now are found empty and echo-filled, lifeless, numb. I feel drained of the creative breath that I so long for. It is as if time has stopped. Or at least the time in which my dreams have dwelt in the past. My realities are swiftly passing by, with every blink; yet remain crippled through every mundane moment that shoots past my weary eyes. They have become some blurry, my vision so unclear. I now possess the innate ability to flee from every aspect of focusing only to dwell in the craziness of my procrastination and laziness.

This must be defeated. This battle must be fought and must be won. Victory is the only option or this creative life shall surely die away into nothingness. I’m sick and tired of the lists, of the worthless to-do’s that never gully get done. I have no excuse. There is enough time within my day. I waste so much time due to my own sheer laziness or dwelling in the other extreme of keeping myself busy enough that my soul becomes satisfied with auto-pilot. Numbness ensues. I know that I am the only one that stops me. What else do I know? Two things. That I was made to love and that I was made to create. Music. People. Art. I must not give up within this journey. Even if day in and day out, I must force myself out of bed and to my work desk, to speak to people of all things dental and finance, if only to carry the hope within me that the creative lies on the other side of the work day. Creativity. Creative freedom. Every moment within that realm counts far more than I often realize. Every detail and minute bears the weight of all the moments that will fall after it.

It must not be about “making it” or “getting my stuff out there.” That should never be my intended goal. But, will I be able to look back someday upon my life and marvel at all of the people I met along the way, all of the moments that were captured in every photograph, and all of the songs that we etched into the sound waves over the years? My goals are not easy. They are not simple. I know very well that I will not awake tomorrow and have it all figured out and set in the course I would desire. I must start small. If I don’t, I know that I will hardly even begin. I mustn’t get discouraged. This path is not for the faint of heart. And it is what I have chosen.

One day at a time. One moment at a time. One detail at a time.

Quitting is never an option.