This is pathetic. I have realized that I haven’t blogged since Christmas. That is a problem. One that will be fixed!
We started recording Ryan’s music project last night. I haven’t tracked anything since I moved back to Colorado at the end of May. The aspect of recording has been burning in my veins and now I finally was able to do what I love once more. The project is going to be good! I mean very, very good!!!
More goodness to come…..
These guys have made a fantastic new record. 
I only wish I was not so poor and could see them in Portland at the end of this month. Sad. 
I can’t sleep. I’ve tried, yet the hours of tonight just won’t allow my heart to rest, as it should. I can’t keep myself from thinking of my last day here, the day that will soon come, so much quicker than I realize at times. Yet, at other times, the realization of my fleeting time, rushes at me at full speed and I hardly have enough time to catch my breath as another day quickly blurs into the next. Time has become just a thing that comes and goes, all too quickly.
I dwell upon that day. When all my lose ends have been tied. I will have bawled my eyes out the day before with all of my goodbyes, to the people that have made such a distinct impact upon my life in the last three years. All of the music, the moments of leaving our tracks in the sound. All of the hours of adventure in the city, upon the shores of the ocean, and even just at our own back porches late into the night. All of the kisses to all of the heartbreak. All of the endeavors to all of the moments I wished I would have never endured upon. 3 years. 2 heartbreaks later. A college degree. A couple more guitars. A newly pressed record that I actually like. And the unknown at my fingertips.
Throughout my journey of living in Washington, I have grown up. I think I’ve been in love once, actually really, truly in love. Or what I believe is close to that. I’ve also said those three words to someone that never deserved to hear them in the first place. I’ve also been infatuated and retarded. I’ve come to realize how I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve come to know earth shattering heartbreak-the kind where the entire rest of your future seems altered in one moment of realization, the minute when you realize that a summer has finally come to an end and you holding on will only hurt more in the long run. I’ve known what it is to have all of my hopes and dreams one day, then wake up 8 months later to have all of it slip through my fingertips- solely based upon my own stupidity. I have known the noise of the city to the sound of the strength of the ocean; the smell of the rain, the warmth of the Oregon sun. I’ve known what it is to feel truly alive, to wake up with the whole world at your fingertips, the most amazing friends in the world, and not enough nights spent watching the sunset. I have gained so much experience and lost just about everything I thought I possessed in the first place. I have been humbled. I have been broken. I have been lost, then I have been found. I have become more of the woman that I have been made to be.
I will never been the same.
This day will begin with all of my belongings and memories packed into the moving truck, rising early to beat the sun, locking my door, and slowly backing out of my gravel driveway for the last time while Ryan Adams plays on the Ipod. I’ll drive down Ocean Beach Highway, get gas at the Chevron on the corner that I have seen all too much in the past few years, and then arrive at the Starbucks parking lot. My heart will be flooded with so many memories held at this coffeehouse as I walk slowly through the doors. I’ll order my usual and make small talk with the baristas that have all come to know my name and feed my caffeine addiction a couple times a day. And then I will leave, like any other day. But this time I will get in my neon and not return like usual. I will drive. And drive and drive and drive. Out into the abyss of my life that is still so unknown, into an existence I haven’t quite yet grasped, and away from the past few years of my life.
Tonight, this day terrifies me.
But, I will drive, and drive, and drive…..
We finished the last tracks on my record yesterday. I feel a certain sense of overwhelming relief that we are on schedule, but also a certain sadness due to the fact that the recording process is finished. It’s in the moments of slowly piecing together each song that keeps me feeling alive. Now it’s done. Now the process will continue as it is mixed, the artwork is completed, and I send it off to be pressed. Time is flying by quicker than I think I realize.
I graduate from college in a little less than 50 days. Oh my goodness. Breathe.
But, there are some amazing things on the forefront of my seemingly unknown life after college. Some opportunities are slowly presenting themselves, which keeps me realizing that all has not been lost and that I am still a part of a cause that is so much bigger than myself. I need to have that realization everyday. I must have faith for what God has for me in these next few months, even though it is all so unknown.
Change is inevitable.
Some photos from yesterday…..
The record is SO close to being complete. Just a few more random tracks and some more keyboards. 12 songs. I’m so excited. This week we’re figuring out the final artwork….then off to mixing….then off to pressing. We have actually stayed on schedule for the release and I can’t wait to hear and see the finished project. It feels so amazing to actually have done a project that I feel reflects who I am. Finally.
Today, we recorded a bunch of random percussion.
There’s nothing quite like hitting numerous things to make cool sounds.
I enjoyed it.
Before my other site was gone, I had already done this.
But, since this is all about new beginnings, I’m posting this again.
These are the wonderful gentlemen that are making my life such an unexpected adventure.
The Band…..
Josh Anderson: Bass
Kory Randall: Guitars
Dave: The Raddest Old Guy Ever, Drums
Zach Whiton: Guitar, Vox (Live), Guitars, Bass, Vox (Record)
Stephen Tack: Sound, Recording, Splice-King
I truly couldn’t do any of this without them. They are awesome.
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What I’m Up To…
